ever wondered !! about one little thing that is usually around you but never seem to notice it and its feelings.
U might find it a little weird but i am going to talk about some thing that is inanimate and nonliving ...that does not have hands, legs etc..it may be as simple as a piece of polythene (a small patch of the same) lying on the road !!!
now you are sitting in your car,,,, MAST absolutely in the airconditioned luxury that your latest car provides you. you start and move towwards an unknown destination or probably a drive. Remember !! think !! go back !! think about all the times you were on the road ....now, yesterday,day before... weeks back, months back...years back.. and if you 've lived centuries ...then centuries back . you must v noticed on so many times a piece of polythene in the midst of a heavy traffic.. dont say know...becasue iam sure you must ve !!!
poor thing !! can not move on its own... and is helpless
The other day i was on the road and saw this...little blue thing.. a torn patch of a polythene bag...let me call him.."PAULY" i was stuck in a baby traffic jam and accidently happened to see pauly.. he did not have any way to go... there were trucks, cars, scooters, horns, honks zipping past him.. and each time they did.. they would force him to go with them... (the physics involved here is the movement of air with the car..........) the moment a brand new HONDA CITY would try to take him... with it.. an old KHATARA FIAT would come and take him the opposite way ... and poor chap would land back at the original place.
i was noticing pauly jumping from one place to another... going a little further and then going back a lil...
and say if a huge mammoth like bus or truck would pass...he would disappear for some time... then in some time i would find him..gliding back to the same patch of the road. !!
sitting in my car i was only thinking what must that piece of plastic be thinking.. poor ol' chap can't move can 't do nothing.. just keep cursing the fuck all.... traffic...and the moronerds...the humans...
There are times when people like pauly (let me acknowledge pauly as a person..other wise he would get a lil offended) have there own good times....

If ever you read it... you 'll realize how easy it is for you to say so...

Thanks for the strife and pain !! Its made me stronger.

This blog was probably meant for you, it would have had a space for you but i doubt whether it makes sense writing about you.. Read it and you 'll know... this is not for you BUT FOR MYSELF..

Just go and tell!

She came into my life while i was dancing with hearts and then ,I was gliding through sky,

She did some cute things and made those butterflies fly.

I always cared for her and wanted her to be beside me,

Always loved her and used to think what she feels for me!

I always wanted to tell her how much I cared and love her,

But just stopped before making the final stir!

But soon I realized that it’s me, who loves her and not her,

She always took me as a play; it was I who was in fuzz!

Now she is now gone; happy and content,

But whom am I kidding; It was I who went to that extent!

But soon I realized this is so close to the life,

When did I tell her I always wanted her to be my life!

I loved her with my whole heart feeling every single pain she had,

But when did I go and tell her about the feeling that I had?

I loved her and felt the pain she had,

But when did I tell her the feeling that I had?

With this question intriguing me in my life,

Now I learnt to get over this mental strife!

It made me realize that one has to just go and tell,

How you feel, you have to go and break the spell!!!

Guess its all a part of life..that 's how i see things..
when things go wrong and ppl blame themselves, X'es, Y'ies and Z'eds for anything that is not going the way it actually is supposed to go.
Today i am going to tell you a story ...
The story orbits around "THINGS THAT HAVE TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN" and YOU CAN DO JUST NOTHING ABOUT IT.

Once apon a time in JERUSELEM there was an old merchant who lived alone with his young servant boy.The servant boy was a very hardworking, loyal and truthful person.He took care of his master in every possible way and won his confidence through his very selfless deeds.

One fine morning he was sent to the marketplace to get some grocery.... the young lad went and did the required purchases and was on his way back he saw this person standing on the road.... well guess who he was... HE WAS "DEATH". The boy looked at him and tried to ignore his presence, however he tried to look at him from the corner of his eyes as he walked by.

He was frightened and started to amble, he looked back to see whether DEATH was still there or not and was scared even more to see DEATH staring back at him. He ran like never before...he ran and ran and ran... till he finally reached his master all panting and wheasing.
In his scared self he asked his master for the fastest horse he had....the master for a second doubted his loyalty, he thought to himself " is he trying to pull a fast on him ?? "
Curious to know the reason he asked him why he wanted the horse...
the boy said , he saw DEATH standing on the way - staring at him... and he wanted to run from him...for the time being...
His master gave it a thought and let him have his fav. white Arabian stallion.The boy at once rode towards SAMARA-- in total fright.
The master was still not convinced and went on to investigate whether death was actually there or not.
The master walked to the market place and looked around for DEATH... to his utter disappointment he could not find even the trace of death... so he started to walk back.
On his way back he sees this faint though prominent shadow...and DEATH was standing under a tree..
Skeptical as he was, the master looked at DEATH and DEATH looked back at him- for a few moments even the master's heart stopped beating..but he mustered some courage and walked up to him --------
Master-- Sir, who are you ??
DEATH-- I AM DEATH !!
Master-- What brings you here..
DEATH-- NOTHING MUCH..JUST KILLING TIME !!
Master-- But why here...in our village. in this market place , are you going to take away some one with you ??? Please tell me.. it is a very scary feeling to have DEATH around!!
DEATH-- DONT WORRY MASTER , I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE ANY ONE FROM HERE............IN FIVE MINUTES I AM GOING TO MEET A BOY ON A WHITE HORSE IN SAMARA AND TAKE HIM............
On hearing this..the master remained stunned and never again did he see his loyal servant boy !!!

so readers, what i want to convey here is that if things are written for you, you just can;t evade them... IT WILL HAPPEN !! and it is a very balanced circle FOR THE DEEDS THAT YOU DO.
BE TRUE AND LIVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE !!
Hope you liked the story !!

Today is an amazing day... a day when I sit and think about the lost battles (Not political, not historical ) but about the battles that i have fought. Tonight is yet another battle that I am geting prepared for atleast mentally. I have fought such battles earlier and conquered my enemies with wrath and cruelity, never did i give an option to my so called enemy to get anywhere close to me.
But at the end of every battle i had to lay my arms down for reasons that were not in my control.
I have thought of it and am still curious about the outcome of this FIGHT of mine... for this one would be the ever last time.... I would either be on this side of the great gorge or on the other...
I dont mind excepting either but my heart wants me to be on the greener side.... the side that fills my heart with more pleasure than any thing else.
I will be experiencing another journey alone with hundreds of others who would come down for the fight with the aim to win and fly with the wings of a falcon.
I leave tonight for yet another adventure following my dreams.......... into an arena of unknown mystries....
I want to win ... and be a winner throughout... however, on the contrary i would not be dismayed on losing... well i shall keep you posted with the latest...
chok de....

Today i sing out loud for the ONE I LOVE....
My heart profoundly speaks about this ONE PERSON whom i would like to have very close to me for every little reason,deed and belief !!

Would you like to be my SUNSHINE ....

Would you like to be my sunshine
would you like to be my moonlight
would you walk over the hills
yeah yeah with me
yeah yeah with me

Not because I want you but because I love you
Not because i want you but because I love you

Would you like to share my whole life
sit beside me whole night
would you walk along the sea
yeah yeah with me
yeah yeah with me

Not because i want you
but because i love you

Surprising but true.... this lil poem , which later got converted into a song was written by me while i was flying down to my parents who were in those days stationed at SHILLONG -Meghalaya. I did not know what to do.. THE AIR HOSTESSES were real sad... so i decided to write a song. Well the even more surprising fact is that i wrote the song on a piece of TISSUE PAPER... which i asked from the YOUNGEST and the seemingly MOST PRETTY air hostess.... I tried my best to have a little fling in the AIR ... he he he he... but most unfortunately she just did not pay any heed to MY SO CALLED "attention gaining calls ".... (she probably just thought that...I was one of those young teenage chaps flying with a guitar ..oh yes i had my guitar with me) SO , i was trying to make maximum use of my STYLE STATEMENT " MY GUITAR "... BUT ALL WENT IN VAIN... and i continued writing my song... here it is....

OF YOU OF YOU OF YOU.....

I am on a flight
All alone but in delight
Thinking is what I do
Of you of you of you

I am at home now
Want to meet you
but wondering how
Dreaming is what I do
Of you of you of you

I am sitting beside a lake
Planning things for your sake
Living is what I do
For you for you for you

Greetings my readers,
well this is another song that i had written some where around my second yr of Engineering course. I like this song because it came out really well when the tune was put in.Well, to all those who have heard it (esp my hostel seniors and juniors) and appreciated it, i extend my heartiest regards and wishes.Well, to talk about this song...this was no inspiration but just a flow of thoughts that were as a whirlwind circling around in my little cerebra.... I thought before the twister calmed down let me "PEN" it down ... so here it is ..

I was so madly in love with you…..

I went for a ride on a deep dark night,
I was thinking of you I was dreaming of you ,
Did not know where the road led me
I was so blind I was so blind
Couldn’t see anything other than you
Coz I was so madly in love with you
You …. You … you …..

Your love took its time to get me
I didn’t mind, I didn’t mind
couldn’t feel anything other than you
Coz I was so madly in love with you
You ….. you …you

You told me that there was some one else
And I was so kind and I was so kind
Couldn’t find the way –alone- with out you
Coz I was so madly in love with
you……… You … you .. you…

Tumne kaha tha…..

-Tumne kaha tha,
chalenge saath satth
zindagi ke raah mein,
sang sang ek raah mein

Tumse mila tha, jaane kyon mila tha,
Mein pagal ho gaya, khwabon mein kho gaya
Mein pagal ho gaya, khwabon mein kho gaya

Ek toofan aaya,
Majdhar mein hamein paya
Jaane kya kar gaya, hum dono kho gaye
Hum dono kho gaye ,akele reh gaye

Ek din phir aaya, who that uska saaya,
Hum dono mil gaye,do chehre khil gaye
Mein tha aur who thi, who thi aur who tha,
Mein tha aur who thi,
Who thi aur who tha

The feeling of insecurity and being scared comes in when you have a fear of losing something that is very dear and close to you.Otherwise, as a human tendency you do not care about an array of other things happening around you.Insecurity and being scared does not mean the loss of people or a person in particular from ones daily happenings but many more things like faith, trust, smiles, happiness that one keeps with himself as a personal property.It is like being the owner of the happiness that you have and give, its about seeing the person is his/her best for what ever little you do.... well this is for you my readers, about the time i felt insecure.....

Am I scared or am I feeling insecure………


Am I scared or am I feeling insecure,
For probably I haven’t been able to put up a good score,
You know that I love you
But probably don’t know how much is in store
It is vast
And if opened it might even blast
There’s much more than what I actually show
I know that I love you,
But probably don’t know whether you love me too
And this often puts a question in my mind
You might not but I do and shall always do
For it can’t be anyone other than you

Am I scared or am I feeling insecure for probably
I haven’t been able to Put up a good score

You say that you are confused and when you say so ,
The light in my soul gets fused
So please don’t let the light fuse
In other words do not let me get a new fuse
Coz, if I do, i
Don’t know whether will it be or will it not be you

And that’s why I ask myself to be sure
Am I scared or am I feeling insecure.

When last did you regret to have grown up.... well i suppose these little thing keeps bugging ppl every moment when ever they see a child play , jump hang around, scream, shout , cry ( in the real sense HOWL ) , ask parents for those little" not so very important things" and got happiness unlimited when parents gave it to them for that momentary happiness.
I am reminded of my childhood and those wonderful days where in i was upto all known mischievs. Well i would not like to ellucidate anything about those very notorious things that i did, i probably would die in the sweat that would trickle down from my forehead , when i know that my naughtiness is made public.
i would want to share some thing that reminded me of those very days when i was in std. 1st and the same feeling that followed me till i passed out of from school.To be very specefic i want to talk about THE TOILETS of schools....
well i am sure if you are reading it and let your mental horses run through the time dimension backwards...you would find some thing very common in my observation as a child who has grown up into a man though with the same childish frame of mind.

Today i was made to walk quite some distance down my memory lane....
i was supposed to go for a presentaion to a colllege which had in its campus several other colleges and a small school.
To reach the college which i had planned to go to i had to cross the rear of the school which had the school bath room. and then i saw this.
There were children running around in their shorts, some of them had their shirts torn, shorts soiled with mud, knees bruised...... NOSSIE running down their noses etc. A typical scene that you would find in the primary section of a school ( NOW GET REMINDED.... YOU WERE ONE OF THEM-- NOT VERY LONG AGO ). I could not let my senses wander for i was concentrating on th e job for which i had come. By senses i mean none of my physical senses....

After my meeting with the principal,i saw the children who were running around tired and sitting in a very peaceful and serene manner...probably they were scolded by their teacher or may be they were jsut too tired playing in the sun.
I was pretty fine after the meeting because the principals 2 i/c had really pissed me off... and i wanted to get over the whole thing...
SUDDENLY my olfactory nerves sensed some thing and sent a zipping message to my already worked up brain... " HEY YOU KNOW THIS SMELL "...
My beautiful mind ran down the data base of all the scents, stinks, aromas it had smelt till date only to get it right in the
CATEGORY---- SCHOOL and
SUB-DIVISION--- TOILET....
and then...EUREKA my MR. BRAINS said... i ve got it...
its the STENCH OF PISS>.. .PISS >>> and more PISS... piss here piss there... piss al lover the place...the piss taht tired children... who can barely be able to control the uncontrollable pressure that the bladder exerts....
MY GOODNESS... what stench it was... unbearable.. .to my pretty lil nose...
at one point i was happy and proud of my brain that it recognised the stench in less than a NANO th of a sec... but then i was feeling ooooooooooooffffffffffffff............. i cant bear it any
more....
well the whole surrounding was " ROOM FRESHEND " with different amounts of PH LEVEL acidic urine.... he he he he
The walk way had this lingering SMELL as though you were in a SCHOOL TOILET...
Its then when i told my friend fawad that can you recognise the smell... and he had this faint smile on his..face.. - or probably he was trying not to smile because if did he had to inhale more air then...
anyways...
well i hope.. you guys... got what i meant to say....
that things as unusal as THE STENCH OF THE SCHOOL- URINAL CAN REMIND US OF THOSE UNFORGETTABLE DAYS>....................... OUR CHILD HOOD.

well , this is one of the songs that i had written and it had come out beautifully well....

i remember, when i was in college i had written this song .

ITS YOU AGAIN ……..

I fell in love manier times

With one, with two, all over till nine

I always looked for some one in vain,

But then it was you again

We fell apart when you weren’t ripe

And are not close enough when the time is right

I try to look for some one else

But damn, its you again

I look forward to see you soon

Fill you in my arms in the light of the moon

You for me and I for you

The only thing I want tell you is that

I LOVE YOU

Waiting for you !!!

Because I have not met you

I shall call you the girl of my dreams

Because I have not met you

At 21 my friends find it strange

That I should still be waiting for you

Because I have not met you

It is simpler, they say to quit the quest

And take away the storm dictates

For he who loves you is a waif

I would have believed them and dared

But I have seen the mist tangles in your running locks

For though I have not met you

I have known and loved your absence

The face that you are there

Because I have not met you

I watch every face in the sunlight at every crossing

At 21, my friends still I find it strange

That I should still be waiting for you.

I am jealous of …..

I am jealous of one thing you have,

Who knows you better I ever have

You spend most of your time with him

The time I never got to spend with you

He knows all your secrets

He knows when you are happy

He knows when you are blue

I am jealous of one thing you have

Who sticks around with you every where you go

To the canteen or for a show

He catches every word you speak

But never lets those precious spell sell

Whenever you talk to me

He’s there listening to our dialogue

- Although silently

- He knows everything that you speak

He knows everything that you speak

and understands what you mean

I can say he knows it all

very cunningly

He knows all your secrets

He knows when you are happy

and he knows when you are blue

coz his love for you is so true

I am jealous of one thing you have, now

His being so close to you makes me wish

That I was your telephone.