Friday, November 03, 2006

soooooooooooooooooo...................... i drove out of office... a long long drive for it took me almost an hour and a half to reach a place called "SATYA SAI NIGAMAGAMAM (well that was quite a t oungue twister... i bet you can't say it five times in a row...) well that apart... acutally i was on my way to help MY friend anil with the AUDIENCE for his magic show.. i thought no one would turn up but to my surprise i found atleast a thousand(divided by 10) people sitting on their big bums waiting for him to start the magic show... i was the "hundred and oneth" person sitting there awaiting the MEGA ARRIVAL of" Anil the magica" ... wel lthat is how every one in college knew him.. he was either called JADUGAR SAHAB or MAGICA... i preferred call ing him MAGICA> the wait must've been for say..... mmmmmmmmmmmm 45 min and still no sign of the GREAT.... only to realise finally that it had been cancelled and the BIG BUMS of the people sitting there were only aching..
I could not have stayed for a long time.. coz..
1. I didnot know any one
2. i was dying to meet AUNTY MALATHI, BUNNINDER AND REVA....( ooooooppps the BUNNIDER here refers to the smartest girl floating around in town.. BUNNY and who happens to have one of the smartest names that i have everu come across for a girl.. PRITHVI. aint it SUPPA !!! )
well i made my way through the dirty, horrendous traffic towards my second home where is had planned to have spend the night. i reached my final destitnation for the night... HOME SWEET HOME when i saw this shadow running towards me... for a second i was like............ alright if you are coming for me... BRING IT ON>.. i 'll take you.. types...
the shadow was on the trot... (well it was not a horse...) it was a human shadow..!!!!! suddenly the shadow stopped near the window and then there was this face " only to my relief i saw the very NOT SO FAMILIAR FACE OF SAAAMBAIYA.... MALATHI aunty's watchman. he greeted me while he opened the gate for me to enter into the parking place to which i merrily responded by waving my hand and saying.. NAMASTE SAAMBAIYAAA... and th en i n a fit he spurted out a volley of sentences... in telegu to which i could absolutely not answer coz he was simply too fast. well i tried saying something to him in telegu
before i dashed towards the stairs with my LIMPY LEG. well i think i should start calling my right leg limpu rather than MY RIGHT LEG......!!!
Stupid things apart... i went up to see... a few very familiar faces VASSU ATTA (not he ATTA as in FLOUR...but ATTA as in AUNT in telegu) Aditi,KASH the YUP, BUUNY AND AUNTY MALATI.
In no time i made myself SUPER COMFY by removing my shoes and getting myself a place in the couch. A few words were exchanged and then the siren rang and VASSU aunty had to leave with the kids.... so here we were THREE of us.. waiting for the fourth one (REVA) to join us. In the mean while aunty Malathi had a few guests over with whom she got busy.
well then we sat talk ing.... talking talking...
Then there was a little chaos ... then..we saw reva jumping in ...
we ate dinner then and started talking again...
We hit the bed .... and got up inthe morning..
The morning was bright and nice..
i took the car and drove back home...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

WOWieeee... its diwali taday.. the time says i am 2040 hrs and there is a lot of noise outside...(well this time is saying.. no me.) i some times wonder what time must be thinking that he is the one who keeps a track of everything that everyone does and yet can't do anything for himself for if at anytime he gets distracted OH LORD !!!! oooof... can;'t even imagine what will happen..well lets leave time alone and let him do his job..
yeah so iwas at diwali...
i am at the club... actually came to get some biryani for the "going to be hungry folks", have guests over from pune so hospitality is at its best.Not that it is never upto the mark... we esp i think hospitality should be extended at all given times.
hmmm... i can hear a lot of crackers bursting and lights lighting up the sky, can listen to people shouting and screaming.. laughing and feeling very GAY about the whole festival (well the gay is not the gay as in "GAY" but the gay as in HAPPINESS") while i sit in an air conditioned room with two more people sitting and accompanying me. GOD KNOW's WHAT BRINGS THEM HERE...
A few minutes ago i was at home paying homage to GODDESS LAKSHMI and LORD GANESHA. Both who try to fill your back pockets full of green colored paper pieces called MONEY.
At home it was an auspicious moment with my grand ma downwards to the guests dressed in their BRAND NEW ATTIRES... the PUJA (PUJA now not as in the so many PUJAs i know but the PUJA as in PRAYERS) went of fine with decorations and offering of flowers and fire (AARTI.... now wait.. its not AARTI as in the BEAUTIFUL GAL NEXT DOOR...but AARTI as in the MARK of respect to GOD ) that is a typical HINDU tradition.
After the aarti and taking blessings from the two aforementioned lords of their own kinds started the beautiful tradition of TOUCHING THE FEET OF EVERY ELDER around !! so i went..
DOWN-1 = papa
DOWN 2= MAMA
DOWN 3= GRANDMA
DOWN4=AUNTY
DOWN5=UNCLE
DOWN6 NEELU AUNTY (THE GUEST)
DOWN7=ARVIND UNCLE( THE GUEST)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFF THAT WAS QUITE SOME TIMES... and i do not mind it i always think that their blessings are certainly more powerful than that of the goddesses and gods.

so now that my turn of bending down was over... i suddenly see two SIX FOOTERS ...
cookie and his hefty friend vaibhav...bending down to touch my feet..
Now here it feels a little awkward... he hehe a blush on my face.. where inside i am all happy and joyfull about the whole idea of my brother trying to get blessings from me.
To be frank i was overwhelmed...
Then came the TEEKA round.. where the women of the house put teekas (another of the purely hindu traditions)
so in no timne i had a teeka on my fore head...
giving me a look like one of those RAJPUTANAs of BALMER in Rajasthan..
I felt like some KUNWAR VIKRANT PATNAIK (the prince of some princely province).
that apart..
Then dad and the super elders of the family get their backsides moving towards the BAR ( BHAI AAKHIR DIWALI HAI ..) and the ladies settle around.withthe music started...
well i somehow did not want to stay there.. .
i was missing my friends and probabaly some thing else too..
so i asked partents what about dinner.. ( MY WAY OF keepingmyself busy... EAT EAT EAT )
well leave that..
now i am in the club and i htink my order must be ready ..
i shall go pick it up and head back home and will let you what happened.. after that..

Tuesday, October 03, 2006






Hullo !! well today the day seems just right to write…. Wow…it rhymed..JUST RIGHT TO WRITE…
What ever.. I have had an amazing funloving superb weekend…
Well as per the agenda
Since my dear friend BUA had just come back from mumbai after her month long visit to her sister.We missed her big time so wanted to spend some real good quality time together…
Well, on the last Friday we had a solid talk ANIL , bua and me... we were up talking till 3:00 am untill i said BASS KARO I HAVE TO SLEEP you NOCTURNAL ANIMALS !!! grrrrr...grrrr

The next morning every thing went on smooth i got a shave done and was looking GOOOOD ... and in no time it was already 12:00 and we were planning to meet up at 12:45. MANOJ ANNA was there on time.. and i was ready too

we zipped in MANOJ anna's SANTRO ZIP DRIVE..met up with the GOOD LOOKING GANG !!

in no time were watching the not so interesting movie... well i say that because i didnot see it properly- ANIL DID NOT LIKE IT BECAUSE HE COULD NOT UNDERSTAND HEAD OR TAIL ABOUT THE HARYANAVI HINDI THAT THEY SPOKE IN THE MOVIE... ARRE CHODO YAR USSE HINDI SEEDHI NAHI SAMJHI JAATI HARYANAVI KYA SAMJHTA... any ways in the first ten min of the movie i get a call...

caller: vicky..why aren;t you replying to my msgs

VICKY: QUITE... ssshhhhh

caller: vicky... i have been calling and why haven;t you been picking up my calls

VICKY: QUITE AGAIN...ssshhhh

caller: ok vicky, i just wanted to trell you cookie is coming any time...

i was happy to hear the lovely news but could not express my happiness because of the callers presence.

well i waited till mom called up and then i rushed back home in a RICKSHAW...oh yeah AN AUTO RICK....

I reached home to look at this lean, tall and skinny fella COOKS... .. looking as handpump….ooooopss…did I say hand pump… nah !! handsome as ever.. MY BRO cookie... .
We were both generally happy when I said..the whole gang is in I MAX…chalna..hai kya..!! and he said…CHALO BHEEDU….
And that was it… out came the car…. And out were we…
Reached the theatre and managed to sneak cooks in …
Well by the time we reached the movie was almost over… cooks met everyone.. only to meet them again in the evening… YO !! WE WERE ALL GOING TO THE RSI for DANDIYA………..YEAH ALL OF US…… the whole idea was bringing excitement…yippee….. anil, bua, amta, sonu, vanya, cookie.. and me,,,,,,,FULL MAZZA
All that happened… then we all promised each other that we will meet at my place at DOT 7:30 PM. Promises were made, hearts were crossed and swears were sworn to DIE IF THEY DID NOT MAKE IT ON TIME……….
Well then I had this amazing chance of dropping FIVE HEAVY WEIGHT BEAUTIES home (sonu excluded ).After a long BYE BYE session I made my way back home.. .

Then the sun set and stars started to come out of their hiding places.. the chillwas setting in….. and the weather was getting ROMANTIC…….

Parents and cookie left for RSI around 7:15 pm nad I was supposed to be following them in 15 min… with the JING BANG…….
I was ready ..all set with a smart chocolate brown chudidaar kurta..and waiting.. with my hair gelled, perfumed sprayed (gawd knows how many times and how many types)
Though I knew I would not be dancing.. thanks to my leg!!
I was waiting…waiting …waiting…..waiting… waiting… 7:45..no news…waiting waiting waiting…. 8:00 NO NEWS again … waiting waiting waiting…8:15….. Abolutely no news…..chalo..all I could do was waiting waiting waiting…
8:30….not a chance… so waiting waiting waiting again……. Finally around that time..a call comes.. I jumped and fell across the bed to grab the phone before it went off…. Thinking that these guys would be outside my house..
I hear this.. voice..
BUA: Vicky…..
Vicky: BUA…aaagaye tum log kya…
BUA: NAHI ABHI SHURU KIYA HAI…….
And that was it………..


Yahan I was feeling hungry …I was ready for an hour and these women party had just started..
Well in half and hour they came……… I was like a dormant volcano who had just become active and was about to explode….
But then…I had to eat up my anger when I saw all of them looking fantabulously beautiful…I said..kya fayada..gussa hokkar.. yehi log toh hain……
So all of us adjusted our backsides in anils car…… four beautifully pretty girls ,anil who was looking amazing in his orange kurta and I super good as usual (he he he) in the front…just when we sat it started raining…drizzling
All of us were hungry so we stopped at a PIZZA joint called the PIZZA DEN and had pizzas…thinking that the party would not start with out us…
It was only when I started getting frantic calls from my bro and mom as to where we were and whether wewere coming or not.that werealised that the dandiya has started and we must rush…….
So we zipped--NOT THE ZIP ZIPPED but the DRIVE ZIPPED !!! he he he you dirty minds..… in fact anil zipped the car through woods and deserts…. And we reached RSI………….. well enroute the music was full blast and the drive was ooooooooooooooooo…all with OOMPH !! the cool breeze, good music and the good company what else would one want………
We reached RSI and then I got myself a chair and sat while the girls and anil went on to hit the dance floor with vengeance… oh the girls were looking nice and had their hair let down… I was so happy that they all were enjoying themselves………
In between I would exchange a glance or two with one of them..dancing and they would call me on to the dance floor… and I would thank them and say no…
And they would resume theie JHATKAs and MATKAs.
Then in one of the glances BUA hinted to me to come up and sit on the dance floor….. he he he he he.. and in seconds I was there.. sitting near to where my band of girls with anil the hero were dancing….
I was enjoying watching them and the others dancing.. but let me tell you these guys were the best…… I was looking at anil.. poor chap was trying his desperate attempt to match up with the girls gang but just couldn’t.. ha ha ha ha ha… I saw him.. and then he would complain… THESE GIRLS PRACTICE AT HOME AND COME…….
Well the numbers were good and everyone was dancing,…I was dancing too but on the chair.. he he he..
Soon the party came to an end and the DJ announced the last song ……. I couldnot hold my self back anymore.. I got up and went to where these guys were…and shook some BOOTY …shake shake… with my broken leg. !!
No sooner I got in my spirits the music died and the lights were switched on…… and we were ready to route back…it was barely 11:30..
We thought.. we can go the club for another round of dandiya.. so we reached the club…
Phone calls were made to big ppl in the club who could manage a few passes and msgs were sent.. well all of it was in vain.. because by the time we could enter we saw the GOOD LOOKING CROWD COMING OUT…. The crowd was full of backlesses….. skin showing….. extravagant…gaudy…. Attire donning females and males…
Some drunk some on the verge of getting drunk……
I remember AMTA varenya and i were standing and waiting for AMUL THE AMRUTHA.. we waited... while the girls waited i was busy watching the other girls present there... he he he he

so we picked up some softdrinks and went to my place....

The moment we reached home.. THE SIREN BLEW and suddenly there was an urgent need for everyone to visit the loo... toh sab...EK EK EK EK EK EK ,,,kar ke SUSU..karne gaye ha ha ha hah. MISS SUSUs... ha ha ha ha oh gawd...


well all the ladies went in turn by turn.. and after the flooding session everyone unanimously decided to go out for a walk.

Then we got down and i led the team for a walk around our campus……. Nice was the walk….. Light cool breeze, good friends, and an amazing time… We were walking when suddenly we realized a black dog following us and that scared AMUL THE AMRUTHA to death..and on top of it… vaibhav scared her.. and she screamed on the top of her voice… I am sure the ppl around that place must ve thought that there is some thing… wrong..!! MAN what a scream it was.. typical… those EK LADKI AUR ANDHERA AND EK LADKA TYPE screechy scream… Well that was over after I gave a BIG BHAIYA SCOLDING TO HIM……. Then we came home and sat for barely ten min ..when AMTA sounded her alarm.. for going back.. I did not want them to go though.. but being those understanding types ( he he he he J) I did not say anything… So anil bua and the girls went only for bua and anil to come back. By that time.. I had made our bed in the drawing room.. set up pillows had a wash… brushed my teeth and sat there waiting for them … and started reading a book… MARELY AND ME …. In some time I heard the DHUB-DHABH of the car doors and knew that they were back…and in no time they were cozily comfortable in the bed made by me.. And then we started talking about things happening in out respective little lives…… Anil though quite a listener did not say anthing…actually he can’t speak hindi well na !!! ha ha ha ha ha ha poor chap… Well..we spoke and spoke till 4:00 in the momring.. in between I had dosed off to sleep, when I got up I realized that I had been sleeping for quite some time… Bua and anil were all set to leave… Then anil asked me.. COFFEE>……… and all those who know me.. I cant say NO to coffee…….so we went out I limped and the other two walked he he he…
We went to our place APOLLO HOSPITALS STD/ISD where you get coffee 24 hrs…..but then that chap was sleeping so we could not have coffee…we came back..
I saw them off and then jumped into bed..only to get up at 11:00 am next morning..
I HAD A LOVELY TIME … and hope your all had a good time tooo.

Friday, September 29, 2006

ever wondered !! about one little thing that is usually around you but never seem to notice it and its feelings.
U might find it a little weird but i am going to talk about some thing that is inanimate and nonliving ...that does not have hands, legs etc..it may be as simple as a piece of polythene (a small patch of the same) lying on the road !!!
now you are sitting in your car,,,, MAST absolutely in the airconditioned luxury that your latest car provides you. you start and move towwards an unknown destination or probably a drive. Remember !! think !! go back !! think about all the times you were on the road ....now, yesterday,day before... weeks back, months back...years back.. and if you 've lived centuries ...then centuries back . you must v noticed on so many times a piece of polythene in the midst of a heavy traffic.. dont say know...becasue iam sure you must ve !!!
poor thing !! can not move on its own... and is helpless
The other day i was on the road and saw this...little blue thing.. a torn patch of a polythene bag...let me call him.."PAULY" i was stuck in a baby traffic jam and accidently happened to see pauly.. he did not have any way to go... there were trucks, cars, scooters, horns, honks zipping past him.. and each time they did.. they would force him to go with them... (the physics involved here is the movement of air with the car..........) the moment a brand new HONDA CITY would try to take him... with it.. an old KHATARA FIAT would come and take him the opposite way ... and poor chap would land back at the original place.
i was noticing pauly jumping from one place to another... going a little further and then going back a lil...
and say if a huge mammoth like bus or truck would pass...he would disappear for some time... then in some time i would find him..gliding back to the same patch of the road. !!
sitting in my car i was only thinking what must that piece of plastic be thinking.. poor ol' chap can't move can 't do nothing.. just keep cursing the fuck all.... traffic...and the moronerds...the humans...
There are times when people like pauly (let me acknowledge pauly as a person..other wise he would get a lil offended) have there own good times....

Monday, September 25, 2006

If ever you read it... you 'll realize how easy it is for you to say so...

Thanks for the strife and pain !! Its made me stronger.

This blog was probably meant for you, it would have had a space for you but i doubt whether it makes sense writing about you.. Read it and you 'll know... this is not for you BUT FOR MYSELF..


Just go and tell!

She came into my life while i was dancing with hearts and then ,I was gliding through sky,

She did some cute things and made those butterflies fly.

I always cared for her and wanted her to be beside me,

Always loved her and used to think what she feels for me!

I always wanted to tell her how much I cared and love her,

But just stopped before making the final stir!

But soon I realized that it’s me, who loves her and not her,

She always took me as a play; it was I who was in fuzz!

Now she is now gone; happy and content,

But whom am I kidding; It was I who went to that extent!

But soon I realized this is so close to the life,

When did I tell her I always wanted her to be my life!

I loved her with my whole heart feeling every single pain she had,

But when did I go and tell her about the feeling that I had?

I loved her and felt the pain she had,

But when did I tell her the feeling that I had?

With this question intriguing me in my life,

Now I learnt to get over this mental strife!

It made me realize that one has to just go and tell,

How you feel, you have to go and break the spell!!!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Guess its all a part of life..that 's how i see things..
when things go wrong and ppl blame themselves, X'es, Y'ies and Z'eds for anything that is not going the way it actually is supposed to go.
Today i am going to tell you a story ...
The story orbits around "THINGS THAT HAVE TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN" and YOU CAN DO JUST NOTHING ABOUT IT.

Once apon a time in JERUSELEM there was an old merchant who lived alone with his young servant boy.The servant boy was a very hardworking, loyal and truthful person.He took care of his master in every possible way and won his confidence through his very selfless deeds.

One fine morning he was sent to the marketplace to get some grocery.... the young lad went and did the required purchases and was on his way back he saw this person standing on the road.... well guess who he was... HE WAS "DEATH". The boy looked at him and tried to ignore his presence, however he tried to look at him from the corner of his eyes as he walked by.

He was frightened and started to amble, he looked back to see whether DEATH was still there or not and was scared even more to see DEATH staring back at him. He ran like never before...he ran and ran and ran... till he finally reached his master all panting and wheasing.
In his scared self he asked his master for the fastest horse he had....the master for a second doubted his loyalty, he thought to himself " is he trying to pull a fast on him ?? "
Curious to know the reason he asked him why he wanted the horse...
the boy said , he saw DEATH standing on the way - staring at him... and he wanted to run from him...for the time being...
His master gave it a thought and let him have his fav. white Arabian stallion.The boy at once rode towards SAMARA-- in total fright.
The master was still not convinced and went on to investigate whether death was actually there or not.
The master walked to the market place and looked around for DEATH... to his utter disappointment he could not find even the trace of death... so he started to walk back.
On his way back he sees this faint though prominent shadow...and DEATH was standing under a tree..
Skeptical as he was, the master looked at DEATH and DEATH looked back at him- for a few moments even the master's heart stopped beating..but he mustered some courage and walked up to him --------
Master-- Sir, who are you ??
DEATH-- I AM DEATH !!
Master-- What brings you here..
DEATH-- NOTHING MUCH..JUST KILLING TIME !!
Master-- But why here...in our village. in this market place , are you going to take away some one with you ??? Please tell me.. it is a very scary feeling to have DEATH around!!
DEATH-- DONT WORRY MASTER , I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE ANY ONE FROM HERE............IN FIVE MINUTES I AM GOING TO MEET A BOY ON A WHITE HORSE IN SAMARA AND TAKE HIM............
On hearing this..the master remained stunned and never again did he see his loyal servant boy !!!

so readers, what i want to convey here is that if things are written for you, you just can;t evade them... IT WILL HAPPEN !! and it is a very balanced circle FOR THE DEEDS THAT YOU DO.
BE TRUE AND LIVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE !!
Hope you liked the story !!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Today is an amazing day... a day when I sit and think about the lost battles (Not political, not historical ) but about the battles that i have fought. Tonight is yet another battle that I am geting prepared for atleast mentally. I have fought such battles earlier and conquered my enemies with wrath and cruelity, never did i give an option to my so called enemy to get anywhere close to me.
But at the end of every battle i had to lay my arms down for reasons that were not in my control.
I have thought of it and am still curious about the outcome of this FIGHT of mine... for this one would be the ever last time.... I would either be on this side of the great gorge or on the other...
I dont mind excepting either but my heart wants me to be on the greener side.... the side that fills my heart with more pleasure than any thing else.
I will be experiencing another journey alone with hundreds of others who would come down for the fight with the aim to win and fly with the wings of a falcon.
I leave tonight for yet another adventure following my dreams.......... into an arena of unknown mystries....
I want to win ... and be a winner throughout... however, on the contrary i would not be dismayed on losing... well i shall keep you posted with the latest...
chok de....

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Today i sing out loud for the ONE I LOVE....
My heart profoundly speaks about this ONE PERSON whom i would like to have very close to me for every little reason,deed and belief !!

Would you like to be my SUNSHINE ....


Would you like to be my sunshine
would you like to be my moonlight
would you walk over the hills
yeah yeah with me
yeah yeah with me

Not because I want you but because I love you
Not because i want you but because I love you

Would you like to share my whole life
sit beside me whole night
would you walk along the sea
yeah yeah with me
yeah yeah with me

Not because i want you
but because i love you

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Surprising but true.... this lil poem , which later got converted into a song was written by me while i was flying down to my parents who were in those days stationed at SHILLONG -Meghalaya. I did not know what to do.. THE AIR HOSTESSES were real sad... so i decided to write a song. Well the even more surprising fact is that i wrote the song on a piece of TISSUE PAPER... which i asked from the YOUNGEST and the seemingly MOST PRETTY air hostess.... I tried my best to have a little fling in the AIR ... he he he he... but most unfortunately she just did not pay any heed to MY SO CALLED "attention gaining calls ".... (she probably just thought that...I was one of those young teenage chaps flying with a guitar ..oh yes i had my guitar with me) SO , i was trying to make maximum use of my STYLE STATEMENT " MY GUITAR "... BUT ALL WENT IN VAIN... and i continued writing my song... here it is....

OF YOU OF YOU OF YOU.....

I am on a flight
All alone but in delight
Thinking is what I do
Of you of you of you

I am at home now
Want to meet you
but wondering how

Dreaming is what I do
Of you of you of you

I am sitting beside a lake
Planning things for your sake
Living is what I do
For you for you for you

Greetings my readers,
well this is another song that i had written some where around my second yr of Engineering course. I like this song because it came out really well when the tune was put in.Well, to all those who have heard it (esp my hostel seniors and juniors) and appreciated it, i extend my heartiest regards and wishes.Well, to talk about this song...this was no inspiration but just a flow of thoughts that were as a whirlwind circling around in my little cerebra.... I thought before the twister calmed down let me "PEN" it down ... so here it is ..


I was so madly in love with you…..

I went for a ride on a deep dark night,
I was thinking of you I was dreaming of you ,
Did not know where the road led me
I was so blind I was so blind
Couldn’t see anything other than you
Coz I was so madly in love with you
You …. You … you …..

Your love took its time to get me
I didn’t mind, I didn’t mind
couldn’t feel anything other than you
Coz I was so madly in love with you
You ….. you …you

You told me that there was some one else

And I was so kind and I was so kind
Couldn’t find the way –alone- with out you

Coz I was so madly in love with
you………
You … you .. you…
Tumne kaha tha…..

-Tumne kaha tha,
chalenge saath satth
zindagi ke raah mein,
sang sang ek raah mein

Tumse mila tha, jaane kyon mila tha,
Mein pagal ho gaya, khwabon mein kho gaya
Mein pagal ho gaya, khwabon mein kho gaya

Ek toofan aaya,
Majdhar mein hamein paya
Jaane kya kar gaya, hum dono kho gaye
Hum dono kho gaye ,akele reh gaye

Ek din phir aaya, who that uska saaya,
Hum dono mil gaye,do chehre khil gaye
Mein tha aur who thi, who thi aur who tha,
Mein tha aur who thi,
Who thi aur who tha

The feeling of insecurity and being scared comes in when you have a fear of losing something that is very dear and close to you.Otherwise, as a human tendency you do not care about an array of other things happening around you.Insecurity and being scared does not mean the loss of people or a person in particular from ones daily happenings but many more things like faith, trust, smiles, happiness that one keeps with himself as a personal property.It is like being the owner of the happiness that you have and give, its about seeing the person is his/her best for what ever little you do.... well this is for you my readers, about the time i felt insecure.....

Am I scared or am I feeling insecure………



Am I scared or am I feeling insecure,
For probably I haven’t been able to put up a good score,
You know that I love you
But probably don’t know how much is in store
It is vast
And if opened it might even blast
There’s much more than what I actually show
I know that I love you,
But probably don’t know whether you love me too
And this often puts a question in my mind
You might not but I do and shall always do
For it can’t be anyone other than you

Am I scared or am I feeling insecure for probably
I haven’t been able to Put up a good score

You say that you are confused and when you say so ,
The light in my soul gets fused
So please don’t let the light fuse
In other words do not let me get a new fuse
Coz, if I do, i
Don’t know whether will it be or will it not be you

And that’s why I ask myself to be sure
Am I scared or am I feeling insecure.

Friday, August 25, 2006

When last did you regret to have grown up.... well i suppose these little thing keeps bugging ppl every moment when ever they see a child play , jump hang around, scream, shout , cry ( in the real sense HOWL ) , ask parents for those little" not so very important things" and got happiness unlimited when parents gave it to them for that momentary happiness.
I am reminded of my childhood and those wonderful days where in i was upto all known mischievs. Well i would not like to ellucidate anything about those very notorious things that i did, i probably would die in the sweat that would trickle down from my forehead , when i know that my naughtiness is made public.
i would want to share some thing that reminded me of those very days when i was in std. 1st and the same feeling that followed me till i passed out of from school.To be very specefic i want to talk about THE TOILETS of schools....
well i am sure if you are reading it and let your mental horses run through the time dimension backwards...you would find some thing very common in my observation as a child who has grown up into a man though with the same childish frame of mind.

Today i was made to walk quite some distance down my memory lane....
i was supposed to go for a presentaion to a colllege which had in its campus several other colleges and a small school.
To reach the college which i had planned to go to i had to cross the rear of the school which had the school bath room. and then i saw this.
There were children running around in their shorts, some of them had their shirts torn, shorts soiled with mud, knees bruised...... NOSSIE running down their noses etc. A typical scene that you would find in the primary section of a school ( NOW GET REMINDED.... YOU WERE ONE OF THEM-- NOT VERY LONG AGO ). I could not let my senses wander for i was concentrating on th e job for which i had come. By senses i mean none of my physical senses....

After my meeting with the principal,i saw the children who were running around tired and sitting in a very peaceful and serene manner...probably they were scolded by their teacher or may be they were jsut too tired playing in the sun.
I was pretty fine after the meeting because the principals 2 i/c had really pissed me off... and i wanted to get over the whole thing...
SUDDENLY my olfactory nerves sensed some thing and sent a zipping message to my already worked up brain... " HEY YOU KNOW THIS SMELL "...
My beautiful mind ran down the data base of all the scents, stinks, aromas it had smelt till date only to get it right in the
CATEGORY---- SCHOOL and
SUB-DIVISION--- TOILET....
and then...EUREKA my MR. BRAINS said... i ve got it...
its the STENCH OF PISS>.. .PISS >>> and more PISS... piss here piss there... piss al lover the place...the piss taht tired children... who can barely be able to control the uncontrollable pressure that the bladder exerts....
MY GOODNESS... what stench it was... unbearable.. .to my pretty lil nose...
at one point i was happy and proud of my brain that it recognised the stench in less than a NANO th of a sec... but then i was feeling ooooooooooooffffffffffffff............. i cant bear it any
more....
well the whole surrounding was " ROOM FRESHEND " with different amounts of PH LEVEL acidic urine.... he he he he
The walk way had this lingering SMELL as though you were in a SCHOOL TOILET...
Its then when i told my friend fawad that can you recognise the smell... and he had this faint smile on his..face.. - or probably he was trying not to smile because if did he had to inhale more air then...
anyways...
well i hope.. you guys... got what i meant to say....
that things as unusal as THE STENCH OF THE SCHOOL- URINAL CAN REMIND US OF THOSE UNFORGETTABLE DAYS>....................... OUR CHILD HOOD.

well , this is one of the songs that i had written and it had come out beautifully well....

i remember, when i was in college i had written this song .


ITS YOU AGAIN ……..

I fell in love manier times

With one, with two, all over till nine

I always looked for some one in vain,

But then it was you again

We fell apart when you weren’t ripe

And are not close enough when the time is right

I try to look for some one else

But damn, its you again

I look forward to see you soon

Fill you in my arms in the light of the moon

You for me and I for you

The only thing I want tell you is that

I LOVE YOU

Waiting for you !!!

Because I have not met you

I shall call you the girl of my dreams

Because I have not met you

At 21 my friends find it strange

That I should still be waiting for you

Because I have not met you

It is simpler, they say to quit the quest

And take away the storm dictates

For he who loves you is a waif

I would have believed them and dared

But I have seen the mist tangles in your running locks

For though I have not met you

I have known and loved your absence

The face that you are there

Because I have not met you

I watch every face in the sunlight at every crossing

At 21, my friends still I find it strange

That I should still be waiting for you.

I am jealous of …..

I am jealous of one thing you have,

Who knows you better I ever have

You spend most of your time with him

The time I never got to spend with you

He knows all your secrets

He knows when you are happy

He knows when you are blue

I am jealous of one thing you have

Who sticks around with you every where you go

To the canteen or for a show

He catches every word you speak

But never lets those precious spell sell

Whenever you talk to me

He’s there listening to our dialogue

- Although silently

- He knows everything that you speak

He knows everything that you speak

and understands what you mean

I can say he knows it all

very cunningly

He knows all your secrets

He knows when you are happy

and he knows when you are blue

coz his love for you is so true

I am jealous of one thing you have, now

His being so close to you makes me wish

That I was your telephone.