Today is an amazing day... a day when I sit and think about the lost battles (Not political, not historical ) but about the battles that i have fought. Tonight is yet another battle that I am geting prepared for atleast mentally. I have fought such battles earlier and conquered my enemies with wrath and cruelity, never did i give an option to my so called enemy to get anywhere close to me.
But at the end of every battle i had to lay my arms down for reasons that were not in my control.
I have thought of it and am still curious about the outcome of this FIGHT of mine... for this one would be the ever last time.... I would either be on this side of the great gorge or on the other...
I dont mind excepting either but my heart wants me to be on the greener side.... the side that fills my heart with more pleasure than any thing else.
I will be experiencing another journey alone with hundreds of others who would come down for the fight with the aim to win and fly with the wings of a falcon.
I leave tonight for yet another adventure following my dreams.......... into an arena of unknown mystries....
I want to win ... and be a winner throughout... however, on the contrary i would not be dismayed on losing... well i shall keep you posted with the latest...
chok de....

Today i sing out loud for the ONE I LOVE....
My heart profoundly speaks about this ONE PERSON whom i would like to have very close to me for every little reason,deed and belief !!

Would you like to be my SUNSHINE ....

Would you like to be my sunshine
would you like to be my moonlight
would you walk over the hills
yeah yeah with me
yeah yeah with me

Not because I want you but because I love you
Not because i want you but because I love you

Would you like to share my whole life
sit beside me whole night
would you walk along the sea
yeah yeah with me
yeah yeah with me

Not because i want you
but because i love you

Surprising but true.... this lil poem , which later got converted into a song was written by me while i was flying down to my parents who were in those days stationed at SHILLONG -Meghalaya. I did not know what to do.. THE AIR HOSTESSES were real sad... so i decided to write a song. Well the even more surprising fact is that i wrote the song on a piece of TISSUE PAPER... which i asked from the YOUNGEST and the seemingly MOST PRETTY air hostess.... I tried my best to have a little fling in the AIR ... he he he he... but most unfortunately she just did not pay any heed to MY SO CALLED "attention gaining calls ".... (she probably just thought that...I was one of those young teenage chaps flying with a guitar ..oh yes i had my guitar with me) SO , i was trying to make maximum use of my STYLE STATEMENT " MY GUITAR "... BUT ALL WENT IN VAIN... and i continued writing my song... here it is....

OF YOU OF YOU OF YOU.....

I am on a flight
All alone but in delight
Thinking is what I do
Of you of you of you

I am at home now
Want to meet you
but wondering how
Dreaming is what I do
Of you of you of you

I am sitting beside a lake
Planning things for your sake
Living is what I do
For you for you for you

Greetings my readers,
well this is another song that i had written some where around my second yr of Engineering course. I like this song because it came out really well when the tune was put in.Well, to all those who have heard it (esp my hostel seniors and juniors) and appreciated it, i extend my heartiest regards and wishes.Well, to talk about this song...this was no inspiration but just a flow of thoughts that were as a whirlwind circling around in my little cerebra.... I thought before the twister calmed down let me "PEN" it down ... so here it is ..

I was so madly in love with you…..

I went for a ride on a deep dark night,
I was thinking of you I was dreaming of you ,
Did not know where the road led me
I was so blind I was so blind
Couldn’t see anything other than you
Coz I was so madly in love with you
You …. You … you …..

Your love took its time to get me
I didn’t mind, I didn’t mind
couldn’t feel anything other than you
Coz I was so madly in love with you
You ….. you …you

You told me that there was some one else
And I was so kind and I was so kind
Couldn’t find the way –alone- with out you
Coz I was so madly in love with
you……… You … you .. you…

Tumne kaha tha…..

-Tumne kaha tha,
chalenge saath satth
zindagi ke raah mein,
sang sang ek raah mein

Tumse mila tha, jaane kyon mila tha,
Mein pagal ho gaya, khwabon mein kho gaya
Mein pagal ho gaya, khwabon mein kho gaya

Ek toofan aaya,
Majdhar mein hamein paya
Jaane kya kar gaya, hum dono kho gaye
Hum dono kho gaye ,akele reh gaye

Ek din phir aaya, who that uska saaya,
Hum dono mil gaye,do chehre khil gaye
Mein tha aur who thi, who thi aur who tha,
Mein tha aur who thi,
Who thi aur who tha

The feeling of insecurity and being scared comes in when you have a fear of losing something that is very dear and close to you.Otherwise, as a human tendency you do not care about an array of other things happening around you.Insecurity and being scared does not mean the loss of people or a person in particular from ones daily happenings but many more things like faith, trust, smiles, happiness that one keeps with himself as a personal property.It is like being the owner of the happiness that you have and give, its about seeing the person is his/her best for what ever little you do.... well this is for you my readers, about the time i felt insecure.....

Am I scared or am I feeling insecure………


Am I scared or am I feeling insecure,
For probably I haven’t been able to put up a good score,
You know that I love you
But probably don’t know how much is in store
It is vast
And if opened it might even blast
There’s much more than what I actually show
I know that I love you,
But probably don’t know whether you love me too
And this often puts a question in my mind
You might not but I do and shall always do
For it can’t be anyone other than you

Am I scared or am I feeling insecure for probably
I haven’t been able to Put up a good score

You say that you are confused and when you say so ,
The light in my soul gets fused
So please don’t let the light fuse
In other words do not let me get a new fuse
Coz, if I do, i
Don’t know whether will it be or will it not be you

And that’s why I ask myself to be sure
Am I scared or am I feeling insecure.

When last did you regret to have grown up.... well i suppose these little thing keeps bugging ppl every moment when ever they see a child play , jump hang around, scream, shout , cry ( in the real sense HOWL ) , ask parents for those little" not so very important things" and got happiness unlimited when parents gave it to them for that momentary happiness.
I am reminded of my childhood and those wonderful days where in i was upto all known mischievs. Well i would not like to ellucidate anything about those very notorious things that i did, i probably would die in the sweat that would trickle down from my forehead , when i know that my naughtiness is made public.
i would want to share some thing that reminded me of those very days when i was in std. 1st and the same feeling that followed me till i passed out of from school.To be very specefic i want to talk about THE TOILETS of schools....
well i am sure if you are reading it and let your mental horses run through the time dimension backwards...you would find some thing very common in my observation as a child who has grown up into a man though with the same childish frame of mind.

Today i was made to walk quite some distance down my memory lane....
i was supposed to go for a presentaion to a colllege which had in its campus several other colleges and a small school.
To reach the college which i had planned to go to i had to cross the rear of the school which had the school bath room. and then i saw this.
There were children running around in their shorts, some of them had their shirts torn, shorts soiled with mud, knees bruised...... NOSSIE running down their noses etc. A typical scene that you would find in the primary section of a school ( NOW GET REMINDED.... YOU WERE ONE OF THEM-- NOT VERY LONG AGO ). I could not let my senses wander for i was concentrating on th e job for which i had come. By senses i mean none of my physical senses....

After my meeting with the principal,i saw the children who were running around tired and sitting in a very peaceful and serene manner...probably they were scolded by their teacher or may be they were jsut too tired playing in the sun.
I was pretty fine after the meeting because the principals 2 i/c had really pissed me off... and i wanted to get over the whole thing...
SUDDENLY my olfactory nerves sensed some thing and sent a zipping message to my already worked up brain... " HEY YOU KNOW THIS SMELL "...
My beautiful mind ran down the data base of all the scents, stinks, aromas it had smelt till date only to get it right in the
CATEGORY---- SCHOOL and
SUB-DIVISION--- TOILET....
and then...EUREKA my MR. BRAINS said... i ve got it...
its the STENCH OF PISS>.. .PISS >>> and more PISS... piss here piss there... piss al lover the place...the piss taht tired children... who can barely be able to control the uncontrollable pressure that the bladder exerts....
MY GOODNESS... what stench it was... unbearable.. .to my pretty lil nose...
at one point i was happy and proud of my brain that it recognised the stench in less than a NANO th of a sec... but then i was feeling ooooooooooooffffffffffffff............. i cant bear it any
more....
well the whole surrounding was " ROOM FRESHEND " with different amounts of PH LEVEL acidic urine.... he he he he
The walk way had this lingering SMELL as though you were in a SCHOOL TOILET...
Its then when i told my friend fawad that can you recognise the smell... and he had this faint smile on his..face.. - or probably he was trying not to smile because if did he had to inhale more air then...
anyways...
well i hope.. you guys... got what i meant to say....
that things as unusal as THE STENCH OF THE SCHOOL- URINAL CAN REMIND US OF THOSE UNFORGETTABLE DAYS>....................... OUR CHILD HOOD.

well , this is one of the songs that i had written and it had come out beautifully well....

i remember, when i was in college i had written this song .

ITS YOU AGAIN ……..

I fell in love manier times

With one, with two, all over till nine

I always looked for some one in vain,

But then it was you again

We fell apart when you weren’t ripe

And are not close enough when the time is right

I try to look for some one else

But damn, its you again

I look forward to see you soon

Fill you in my arms in the light of the moon

You for me and I for you

The only thing I want tell you is that

I LOVE YOU

Waiting for you !!!

Because I have not met you

I shall call you the girl of my dreams

Because I have not met you

At 21 my friends find it strange

That I should still be waiting for you

Because I have not met you

It is simpler, they say to quit the quest

And take away the storm dictates

For he who loves you is a waif

I would have believed them and dared

But I have seen the mist tangles in your running locks

For though I have not met you

I have known and loved your absence

The face that you are there

Because I have not met you

I watch every face in the sunlight at every crossing

At 21, my friends still I find it strange

That I should still be waiting for you.

I am jealous of …..

I am jealous of one thing you have,

Who knows you better I ever have

You spend most of your time with him

The time I never got to spend with you

He knows all your secrets

He knows when you are happy

He knows when you are blue

I am jealous of one thing you have

Who sticks around with you every where you go

To the canteen or for a show

He catches every word you speak

But never lets those precious spell sell

Whenever you talk to me

He’s there listening to our dialogue

- Although silently

- He knows everything that you speak

He knows everything that you speak

and understands what you mean

I can say he knows it all

very cunningly

He knows all your secrets

He knows when you are happy

and he knows when you are blue

coz his love for you is so true

I am jealous of one thing you have, now

His being so close to you makes me wish

That I was your telephone.